


real bros will help you get a fake (or a pet, really, it's the same thing)

by rabbikan (Grintfly)



Series: what happens in detroit stays in detroit [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Gen, LMAO, Pre-Canon, bros being bros, detroit shenanigans, hamster origin story, ph(amtaro)ichit, phichit is 15, this takes place like after a month of them knowing each other, yuuri is 18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 15:03:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9129265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grintfly/pseuds/rabbikan
Summary: Yuuri really didn’t know how he got himself in these situations, honestly. But here he was, helping his friend get a fake in an incredibly shady-looking place. All because you need to be at least eighteen years old to buy a fucking hamster in PetCo.Or.In which Phichit’s parents never let him have any pets back in Thailand and now that he lives alone he will do e v e r y t h i n g it takes to finally adopt three hamsters.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hamster origin story!! i like to think that phichit and yuuri maybe met online before moving to detroit and agreed to get an apartment together near the rink. based on this tumblr post: http://whoatakeiteasyman25.tumblr.com/post/78681792613/today-i-heard-2-kids-talking-about-buying-fake-ids

Phichit wasn’t sure how to approach Yuuri about this. They had both recently arrived to Detroit to be trained under Celestino, and they had only known each other for about a month, now. While it was true that Phichit _was_ slightly intimidated by Yuuri when they first met, after getting used to him and, you know, living with him, he found out that truly he had nothing to be afraid of. 

He sighed, maybe if he still were intimidated by Yuuri then this wouldn’t be… so awkward. He’d probably say no, anyways. Whatever. It was worth a try. His hand had been lingering on the doorknob for a while now. 

Quickly, before he changed his mind, he barged into Yuuri’s room. Phichit took a sit in Yuuri’s bed and closed his computer, facing him. The older boy jumped back a little in surprise, “Phichit! I was watching something!”

Phichit rolled his eyes, “Come on, as if you haven’t seen that video of Victor more than twenty times already.” Truly, he wasn’t even _sure_ which one he was watching, but Yuuri’s immediate blush gave him away. “I need you to help me out with something, Yuuri. It’s _vital_.”

The skater’s eyes were full of worry. Here was his fifteen year old rinkmate, one of his closest friends in Detroit, asking him for a favor. Whatever it was, Yuuri could safely assume that it was serious. They hadn’t really known each other for long, but the teenager proved to be trustworthy, comforting, and he didn’t tease him about his anxiety. If anything, the boy could be slightly annoying only when he went on and on about The King and the Skater. He would help him without a doubt.

He furrowed his brows, “What is it? What’s wrong? Do you need anything?” 

Phichit took a deep breath, eyes set and steady, “I need you to help me get a fake ID.”

For a moment, Yuuri couldn’t respond. He needed him to _what now_? At eighteen years old, the most adventurous or risky thing Yuuri had done was to go live abroad in Detroit. Truly, he was perplexed. They had been sharing the small apartment for about a month now, and being eighteen made him the make-shift responsible adult of their home. Still, he shook his head, positive he heard wrong, “ _Pardon me?_ ” 

“I need you to help me to get a fake,” Phichit repeated, eyes unwavering. 

Yuuri nearly choked on his own breath. So he hadn’t heard wrong. _Boy_ , fifteen year olds these days sure were wild, apparently. Was this something that everyone in Phichit’s high school was doing? Getting fakes so that they could, what? Go into clubs? Drink? Perhaps it had been his anxiety that kept him from doing anything like that back in the day, but there was no way a fifteen year old could pass for a twenty one year old. Especially not Phichit.

His rinkmate sighed, again, rolling his eyes. “Listen, it’s not as bad as it sounds, okay? I just _really_ _**really**_ want to adopt a hamster. Will you _please_ help me out?”

Now, Yuuri wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but a wave of relief swept over him when he realized that this social media savvy innocent skater wasn’t doing anything illegal. Well, technically. Not yet. He tilted his head to the side, “What does that have to do with anything?” 

Really, did people not know anything about anything? Phichit let out a breath, leaning his back against the wall besides Yuuri’s bed. “You have to be eighteen years or older to buy a pet at PetCo. And I’ve wanted to get a hamster since I started watching Hamtaro but my parents never let me. So will you _pretty pretty please_ help me out?”

For a moment, things were starting to make sense. Sure, Phichit wanted to get a fake in order to buy a hamster at PetCo. Nothing unusual about that. “Why can’t I just get them for you? I’m eighteen. You could just give me the money and—” 

Yuuri was cut off by Phichit suddenly grabbing him by his shoulders, “But _Yuu-ri_! That takes away all the fun! Besides that will mean that the hamsters will technically belong to you! What if you decide to go back to Japan, and you like them so much you take them with you?”

If he were an anime character, Yuuri probably would’ve sweat dropped at that comment. He had told Phichit that other than training under Celestino, he was also pursuing a degree in Linguistics, which meant that he probably wouldn’t be going back home for a while. _Besides_ , he already had a pet, Vicchan.

He delivered a short smile to his rinkmate, figuring that it wouldn’t hurt to help him out with this. Before he changed his mind, he replied, “Okay.”

Smiling back, Phichit raised a fist. Yuuri fist-bumped him back, “Okay.”

 

The moment him and Phichit got off the subway on a shady-looking neighborhood, Yuuri began to regret the whole thing. Truly, Yuuri wasn’t one to judge so easily, but it was nighttime, and they were far away from their apartment in a place neither of them had ever been before. He sighed, “Are you sure it’s here, Phichit?”

Meanwhile, the boy was practically _beaming_. Of course he would be. His lifelong dreams, almost accomplished at last. “Yeah! I already got in contact with the guy online, all I have to do is pay and he will give it to me.”

For some reason, that seemed to relax Yuuri (which, actually, meant nothing, given that the boy would tense up again even when the lightest breeze came by). It would apparently be a quick exchange and then they’d be on their way back home. 

“I already texted him,” Phichit started, hoping to make some sort of conversation, “He should be here any minute.”

Yuuri nodded in response… really, they’d only known each for about a month and a half now and he could feel the fifteen year old taking years off his life already. 

A few moments later, a black, more or less rusty car seemed to stop a few feet behind them. Yuuri could feel himself tense, this must be the guy, right? He felt his heartbeat stop for a second when he saw that the man opened a door. Oh dear lord, this was it, wasn’t it? What if Phichit forgot the money? Would the man beat both of them up? _This had been such a bad idea_.

Almost unconsciously, Yuuri held onto Phichit’s sleeve, when a man, probably in his twenties, stepped out of the car. The eighteen year old felt his shoulder ease when he realized that this guy couldn’t possibly hurt them, if anything. Before addressing the guy, Phichit turned to him, “Huh? Yuuri, are you scared? Don’t worry, I trust this guy.”

Phichit padded his shoulder and offered him a warm smile before walking towards the guy and exchanged the money for the fake. They seemed to exchange a few words, perhaps a joke or two since Yuuri heard his friend laugh.

When his friend walked back to him and told him that they could go home —not before showing him the fake ID, of course— Yuuri felt like he could breath again. Truly, he could feel Phichit taking years off his life.

 

It felt only natural for the two of them to head to the store the next day. It was a Sunday, their only day off from skating, and Phichit had made sure that they were the first ones in the store that morning. So at ten in the morning, the pair was already standing in front of a small cage with three sleeping hamsters. Phichit was beaming. 

Yuuri eyed him nervously. Something within him told him that the fake ID Phichit had bought probably wouldn’t work even at PetCo. And that probably had to do with the fact that Phichit _didn’t even **look** eighteen years old _. He stayed with the hamsters in the cage, though, at Phichit’s request, in case ‘anyone tried to buy them while he was gone’. 

Soon enough, his flatmate returned with a guy who looked probably around Yuuri’s age. And dear lord, did the skater pray that this store clerk would be a little lenient towards Phichit. Really… who would think of getting a fake ID just to buy a pet. Yuuri sighed, a tired smile on his lips, _a really passionate person_ , that’s who. 

The light-haired guy (Andrew, his name tag read) stared back and forth between the two skaters and the hamster cage as if he were waiting for them to say something. Andrew smiled at them after sighing, “Which one do you want?” 

Phichit looked ecstatic, “The three of them.”

Yuuri seemed to choke on his own breath. _All three of them?_ Phichit hadn’t mentioned that to him at all. He didn’t mention it when he first brought up the whole thing to him. Besides, wasn’t three baby hamsters too much to handle, especially for someone who had never had one, or taken care of one before. 

The Thai Skate chuckled at Yuuri’s reaction before turning back to the clerk, “They’re triplets, right?”

Immediately, Andrew seemed to beam at the comment, while opening the cage enthusiastically, He picked up one of them, scooping it in his hands, “Yes! They are. Their mother passed away in childbirth perhaps two weeks ago, so these little girls have been on their own ever since.”

By simply looking at Phichit, Yuuri could tell that his heart squeezed maybe a little. _Possibly_ because his heart had done the same when the blonde mentioned that the hamster pups were orphans. Phichit’s eyes softened, petting with a finger the silver and white hamster in the clerk’s hands, “Ah, these girls must be very strong, then, aren’t they? How much are they?” 

Andrew laughed, nodding, “They sure are. They’re fifteen dollars each, so if you wanted to get all three, it would come down to a total of forty-five. But assuming you get them a cage as well, we could probably give you a discount.” 

Phichit’s face lit up, smiling at the blonde, “Ah, really?!”

Meanwhile, watching the exchange, Yuuri felt like he wanted to die a little bit. His weekend _really_ hadn’t gone the way he’d expected it to. True, he was expecting Celestino’s Special Brutal Saturday Training Routines™, but other than that, he hadn’t expected going into Shady McShadyville that same Saturday night, and he hadn’t expected to be at a PetCo first thing in the morning just to watch a store clerk flirt with his friend. 

Thinking about it, being Phichit’s friend reminded him a little of Victor Nikiforov: everything was a surprise with him. He meant this in the best way possible, but he could foresee that being Phichit’s friend would, at one point, be handful. He smiled. You know what they say, what happens in Detroit stays in Detroit (except that no one said that, and Yuuri knew that).

Yuuri was drawn back to the conversation when he heard the clerk (Andrew, he reminded himself) ask for Phichit’s ID before helping them to the cashier. Seeing his friend tense for a split second, Yuuri nudged him as inconspicuously as possible. 

“Yes! Of course!” The teenager immediately reacted, taking his fake out of his pocket and handing it to the guy.

The blonde eyed the ID carefully, perhaps a little longer than usual, when he suddenly made a face. _Oh Kami, please don’t let him be found out_ , Yuuri prayed repeatedly in his mind. He really couldn’t bear to see the near disappointment in his friend’s face. Andrew looked up at Phichit, back at the ID, and then back at Phichit again, “Everything seems fine!”

For the first time since they entered PetCo, Yuuri and Phichit both felt like they could breath again. Although neither of them had voiced it, they had assumed that everything would you catastrophically wrong. The last thing that they expected was to walk out of that store with three hamsters at hand. As soon as Andrew was out sight, the boys shared a smiled and fist bumped each other. _They did it_. 

 

They were nearly back to their apartment when Yuuri brought up something that had been bugging him for a while. He had been carrying the hamsters’ cage all the way back home, while Phichit carried the hamsters in their box and their food. The ~~actual~~ eighteen year old turned to his friend, “Phichit…” he started, gaining the latter’s full attention, “You _do_ know that the only reason you got that discount was because that Andrew guy thought you were cute, right… ?” 

It was also the reason why he had let him get away with using a fake ID, but Yuuri wasn’t about to mention that. 

Phichit’s eyes widened as his cheeks reddened simultaneously before relaxing again. He rolled his eyes, “Yuuri, don’t joke around with that! You know it’s not true.”

Yuuri chuckled, staring away from him, “Okay, you keep telling yourself that.” 

The skater frowned a little, there was no way that was true. “ _Anyways_ , Yuuri. On to more important matters,” he started, “I need to name these triplets, any ideas? If you say Victor Nikiforov, I’m moving out.”

The other’s eyes widened, having never been asked to do something like that. For a moment, he thought about Yuuko, who had once mentioned that if she ever had children, she’d like to name them after skating jumps. Yuuri chuckled at the thought, “Ah, what about those three sisters you were talking about the other day? The ones you said were featured on your history book?”

Phichit’s eyes brightened at the idea, “You mean the Schuyler sisters?” He smiled. While it _was_ true that they had been featured in his history book, he had actually looked into them and, naturally, proceeded to ramble on to Yuuri about them. It was only fair, if Yuuri could ramble to him about Victor Nikiforov at shit o’clock in the morning, the Phichit had every right to ramble to him about historical figures if he so pleased.

Yuuri nodded, “Yeah, those! What were they called again?”

The Thai Skater thought for a moment, walking into their building and heading towards the stairs, “Hmm, from the top of my head I can only remember, uh, Margaret, Elizabeth, and… Angelica? I think it was.” 

Yuuri offered him a smile. As they reached the second floor, Yuuri set the cage down, leaning it against the wall and taking out his keys. He turned back to his friend, “It’s decided, then! Angelica, Peggy, and Eliza!”

 

Later that evening, Phichit looked into the bag with hamster food and care stuff, and found the clerk _really_ had slipped in a piece of paper with his number in it.

**Author's Note:**

> guys ive never bought a fake id idk what im doing
> 
> hmu on tumblr at mousekat 
> 
> //lowkey phichit is such a ##hipster making hamilton references before it was cool wow
> 
> happy new year!


End file.
